This post may get messy. God is teaching me some stuff and I’m not completely clear what it all means. Perhaps I should wait until things are more clear in my mind before writing – but then I would not be able to write anything!
In a nutshell, it feels as though God is using a zoom lens to show me about myself. And just as when the scientists get a higher resolution lens for their telescopes or microscopes they collect some fantastic images but then have to puzzle over how to interpret the new information, so I am also still processing what God is showing me.
What I’m seeing is a multitude of small aspects of my daily life that are not being brought under subjection to Christ. This in turn makes me vulnerable to Satan’s whispering lies and subtle delusions. Some of these delusions are beginning to reveal themselves as the traps they are – snares intended to prevent me from looking to Christ alone for my hope. It is humiliating to realize how easily duped I have been (and no doubt still are, by as yet undetected snares).
As I was considering this over the last week or so, I came across a blog post which talked about the same idea from a different context. The guts of what Doug is saying is that “God doesn’t just want our “biggies.”” This is something I have known and let slip from my mind over the years, that everyday ordinary stuff is where spiritual rubber meets the road. My thoughts and reactions to little things are training and shaping me. It is the little foxes that spoil the vines (Song of Solomon 2:15).
God doesn’t just want our “biggies”:
If you and I only approach God with the colossal issues and not the mole hills of doubt, spilled juice, heated conversations with our spouses, tear in the fabric of our shirt, length of a stoplight, concern of how we’ll adjust in a relationship if we open up, lack of sleep, lack of money, excess of money, tinge of pride, fear of reprisal, lack of earnestness in prayer and the study of the Bible, or any number of other issues – we are at risk of looking toward horizons for hope. This, make no mistake, is risky business for its aiming at a moving target. OR the other horizon-oriented option would be to seek the avoidance of immanent danger. Here you are at risk of viewing God only as punitive and not grace filled. This we all do (or have done) to our own peril. (Reverence Demands Exposure by Doug Rumbold)
God seems to have some ‘lessons’ for me that cannot be bypassed. If I sidestep them initially, He just brings me full circle again until I encounter the same lesson again with a little more experience and (hopefully) wisdom under my belt so I will learn it properly second time around. Or third, or fourth, or fifth time around (no kidding, I could tell stories of at least one lesson that took me five encounters to finally sink in!)
Maybe the best way to finish this ramble is with the following Scripture:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.
(Psalm 32:8-9 ESV)